A new beginning
POSTED ON Tuesday, 30 October 2012 AT 17:46 \\
My whole life is either one big dilemma or one big awkward situation, I have yet to figure out which of the two. Things have been shitty these last couple of months if I'm being honest. Things have been difficult but I have kept my faith strong and my head held high or relatively high. I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. Things tend to change when you observe a lifeless body for the first time in your life. You stand there at a safe distance because you think you might just become lifeless yourself while staring. You're looking at a cold, wet and white body that no longer moves or feels. It's extremely unbearable when that body happened to belong to a family member of yours. No one was prepared for such a thing, a man of 33 to die unexpectedly is heartbreaking especially if he meant so much to you, so much to them. He was crushed in a deadly car crash late one evening where he died instantly. His funeral also happened to be the first ever funeral I'd ever gone to. The atmosphere was terrible, everything was terrible and sickening and sad. The family kept crying. The night before we were all downtown at his now abandoned apartment to prepare for the next day when we all stopped just about everything and got in this really big circle. Almost 15 of us, all under 30 but older than 16 just sitting and reminiscing of recent events with the now deceased. I'm shocked no one cried during their 3-4 minute speech. I choked and slurred my words because nothing really made sense to me. It's now been two weeks and i have yet to come to terms with his death. I swear to you those entire 4 days I was at the apartment, at his apartment, I truly believed he was going to burst through the door. I was anticipating for an arrival that no longer would come, an event that would never happen. I guess you can say I'm still in a sense of shock. I don't know how to deal with death. It almost takes the life out of you thinking of them. I miss him terribly and sympathize for my family. I wish his rest in the grave be peaceful.
A new beginning
POSTED ON Tuesday, 30 October 2012 AT 17:46 \\
My whole life is either one big dilemma or one big awkward situation, I have yet to figure out which of the two. Things have been shitty these last couple of months if I'm being honest. Things have been difficult but I have kept my faith strong and my head held high or relatively high. I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. Things tend to change when you observe a lifeless body for the first time in your life. You stand there at a safe distance because you think you might just become lifeless yourself while staring. You're looking at a cold, wet and white body that no longer moves or feels. It's extremely unbearable when that body happened to belong to a family member of yours. No one was prepared for such a thing, a man of 33 to die unexpectedly is heartbreaking especially if he meant so much to you, so much to them. He was crushed in a deadly car crash late one evening where he died instantly. His funeral also happened to be the first ever funeral I'd ever gone to. The atmosphere was terrible, everything was terrible and sickening and sad. The family kept crying. The night before we were all downtown at his now abandoned apartment to prepare for the next day when we all stopped just about everything and got in this really big circle. Almost 15 of us, all under 30 but older than 16 just sitting and reminiscing of recent events with the now deceased. I'm shocked no one cried during their 3-4 minute speech. I choked and slurred my words because nothing really made sense to me. It's now been two weeks and i have yet to come to terms with his death. I swear to you those entire 4 days I was at the apartment, at his apartment, I truly believed he was going to burst through the door. I was anticipating for an arrival that no longer would come, an event that would never happen. I guess you can say I'm still in a sense of shock. I don't know how to deal with death. It almost takes the life out of you thinking of them. I miss him terribly and sympathize for my family. I wish his rest in the grave be peaceful.
Can we have a little bit of sunshine please
A derp who likes coffee and reading