Dealing with taunting thoughts that you know you shouldn't be be having and  refuse to go away suck. Crushing is actually so annoying and bothersome. The fact that I'm crushing on a guidance counselor at my high school whose not even my guidance counselor is just down right awkward. Is this even morally accepted? Does this happen in real life? How did this even happen? This guidance counselor is a religious Muslim who works out every morning, has nice caramel skin and a pleasant smile. I'd met this person of interest in the tenth grade but payed little attention. Back then he was a special eds teacher I'd rarely ever see. Once I was sent to his room to spend my spare because technically speaking tenth graders couldn't have spares but nonetheless I  had no class that period. As I sat there killing time, he came up to me and recommended things to do in order to spend my time productively. One of these suggests was offering me the Katab, the holy book of Islam,  to practice reciting. Sadly, as I was not as religious back then as I am now, I declined. Fast forward to now, senior year where my friends have to deal with me regularly drooling all over him. Mind you, I still don't see him often nor do I know of his ethnicity which intrigues me.

As I have become more religious, my perception of things have changed drastically. My Deen, which is associated with Islam, has become the number one thing in my life as of right now and I'm constantly in search of knowledge. I'm no where near the point I'd liked to be at, but if God's willing, I will.  What I've been able to conclude are some qualities I want in a mate. First and foremost, I need him fully invested in the Deen, to help increase mine. A person who is religious has a greater understanding of the world and is essentially a million times more attractive.


+The fact that i mentioned him on my blog and said the word mate kills me. Pray for me.