So my friend cindy, in an attempt to get me to write a new post has tagged me in this questionnaire thingy. Go check her out and enjoy!

Why did you start blogging?
To be quite honest, I was bored one August night and had a little inspiration. I wanted to keep track of my senior year in high school and look back 3-4 years from now and probably say 'wow  i was one pathetic 17 year old but i had fun'.  I've had numerous blogs prior to this one but for reasons i'm not really sure i was unable to commit to them. Hopefully that doesn't occur with this blog.

What is behind your blog name?
Two summers ago i got really into Greek mythology. I would spent countless hours reading books and doing research online for the heck of it. I stumbled across Vulcan which is an ancient Greek God of fire which at 15, I thought was pretty rad. I also happen to always drive by a street on my way to my local Mosque called Vulcan St. The story behind my blog title has more of a deeper meaning to me. Ameliorer is a french verb for 'to improve' which is really inspirating to me. I wish to consistently improve myself as a person, as a daughter, a student, a friend. Everything really. A motto I try to live by and practice

Who is your style icon?
Kind of hard to say considering I have absolutely no sense of style and don't care for fashion at all really. I was never really big on trends and keeping up with them. I just wear what looks clean and comfortable. Dark colours and vans is an everyday theme.

What are the best words of advice you've been given?
They have yet to make their appearance.

Where do you what to live when you're older?
I was asked this just last week. A battle between Dubai or Saudi Arabia or maybe somewhere in Europe

What's your favourite book?
I've read countless book, this is one question I absolutely hate being asked. I've fallen in love with so many books, that it actually physically pains me to think of only one book as my all time favourite. So to spare myself, i'll list 5 books in which i would have died had i not read them.
1. A Scientific Romamce by Ronald Wright
2. The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
3. My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares
4. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
5. A Good Death by Gil Coutemanche

Coffee or Tea?
 Die hard coffee lover.

What is your favorite food?
Most probably some sort of fruit. Or maybe all fruits...

Which person do you admire the most?
I've never really looked up to anyone in my life. There were times were i would be jealous of someone due to a personality trait i lacked or feature i didn't have which is totally normal but nonetheless annoying. But i dont believe ive actually admired someone, inspiring role model wise.

What does your perfect Saturday night look like?
Up till 3 either reading or watching netflix brainlessly
It's officially 2013 which sounds kind of awkward and odd whereas 2012 just rolled off the tongue with ease and sounded certain. Lets look back at 2012 for a second, it was a rocky year. Through all of 2011 and most of 2012, I was awkward and shy and really negative. If you asked me why, for the life in me I couldn't give you a concrete answer. Not even an answer at all. A few days ago a childhood friend was staying over for a few days. We've been friends since I was in the 5th grade and her in the 7th. She had asked me, jokingly might I add, when I had become so negative. In regards to my pessimistic outlook towards life and my abilities. I responded with a simple I don't know. And I don't. But bare with me, I see a brighter future and a happier me. I'm learning to be more positive and more confident in a sense. I truly believe this was only a high school phase, I pray to Allah (swt) that it is.  That type of outlook will get you no where. Positivity will be my new favourite shade of black.

The Paradox of Our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. More degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too
quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, and watch TV too much.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, yet still have trouble crossing the street to meet our new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait; have higher incomes, but lower morals; more food, and less appeasement. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less and less communication. We’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short characters; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more food, and less nutrition. These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. Of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or just to hit delete…

- Dr. Bob Moorehead
Dealing with taunting thoughts that you know you shouldn't be be having and  refuse to go away suck. Crushing is actually so annoying and bothersome. The fact that I'm crushing on a guidance counselor at my high school whose not even my guidance counselor is just down right awkward. Is this even morally accepted? Does this happen in real life? How did this even happen? This guidance counselor is a religious Muslim who works out every morning, has nice caramel skin and a pleasant smile. I'd met this person of interest in the tenth grade but payed little attention. Back then he was a special eds teacher I'd rarely ever see. Once I was sent to his room to spend my spare because technically speaking tenth graders couldn't have spares but nonetheless I  had no class that period. As I sat there killing time, he came up to me and recommended things to do in order to spend my time productively. One of these suggests was offering me the Katab, the holy book of Islam,  to practice reciting. Sadly, as I was not as religious back then as I am now, I declined. Fast forward to now, senior year where my friends have to deal with me regularly drooling all over him. Mind you, I still don't see him often nor do I know of his ethnicity which intrigues me.

As I have become more religious, my perception of things have changed drastically. My Deen, which is associated with Islam, has become the number one thing in my life as of right now and I'm constantly in search of knowledge. I'm no where near the point I'd liked to be at, but if God's willing, I will.  What I've been able to conclude are some qualities I want in a mate. First and foremost, I need him fully invested in the Deen, to help increase mine. A person who is religious has a greater understanding of the world and is essentially a million times more attractive.


+The fact that i mentioned him on my blog and said the word mate kills me. Pray for me.
Many people don't know this but for almost 2 years, I had a personal tumblr account that was restricted where I wrote about a whole bunch of things. I've owned many blogs where eventually i just stop posting when i get bored of it or end up simply deleting it. Surprising i hadn't deleted that one and since i was actually looking through it right now, all 156 posts, i don't think i will. Looking back at all those posts and reading them and distinctly remembering those events and all those emotions is really weird and amazing at the same time.  Really refreshing too.

Here's a little something from that blog lol enjoy.I have no idea what i was saying but i loved that book and i love john green.

In John Green's, Looking for Alaska, the Great Perhaps I believe will taunt me just as much as it taunted Miles the months before enrolling in Culver Creek and falling head over heels for a female he barely even knew. Not to say I plan to enroll in a nearby boarding school and go gay but the philosophy behind it. It stares directly in the eyes of all the what ifs that are thrown around in common though because too many people are afraid. Afraid of something, everything and nothing. I don't want to be afraid nor do i want to go through what miles did. But after having finished reading the book, just as i suspecting Miles and Colonel and even Takumi all face one last Great Perhaps. Then it dawned on me, the reason why the Great Perhaps and what ifs have a stare off. Its because whether or not they seem to be enemies at first, they're essentially the same thing. Both fighting the same thing, but on different sides. And that throughout the spam of your life, you will face countless what ifs and great perhaps because whether or not we notice right then and there, the thoughts that follow after are always going to conflict with the thoughts you thought prior. Which sucks.

Clearly I know nothing and this is me trying to make something out of nothing, but for now this makes sense. I loved that book and the thoughts i had after having finished it regardless if they made me seem a little crazy.

Written on January 15 2012 at 1:36PM
I shall try harder.