Whats worse, losing motivation or having no inspiration? Easy. Losing motivation. Finding inspiration is easily achievable for there is inspiration everywhere. From the big oak tree in front of the bus stop I've waited at everyday for the past 5 years, that seems to never age. Or when I notice acts of kindness from strangers. Or the strength my mother possess. Or the never ending love I have for my religion. Inspiration is everywhere, anything can inspire you. Its motivation that's hard to catch and even harder to never let go of. Its what drives us to do the things we may or may not love passionately.

As I've started University this fall, things have just been weird. Weird in the sense I've realized even more just how confused as a person I really am and my lack of identity. This started as a theme earlier during my last year of high school but is now a huge part of my current everyday life and you could say its because I'm a teenager blah blah blah and that its normal to be feeling like this blah blah but my point is, it is happening and its very much burdensome. It's hard trying not to think about it consistently due to the fact my brain keeps nagging at me about the things I use to love, I no longer find the time to do or lack the motivation to do. And whats sadder than losing motivation to do the things you love.
"I don't believe in sins. I believe in humans rights." -A friend

At times like these I really wish I had more Muslim friends.  I've had the same one Muslim friend for 7 years now and a total of maybe 8 close friend, all of which are either devout Christians, some sort of branch of Christianity, or Atheist. At first I laughed at this, it was so absurd. Then I realized who had said it and was no longer laughing but instead fairly puzzled and disappointed because I understood the seriousness behind it, the truth. This Plato outlook is not what I want to surround myself with.
Whats the point of relationships? I mean the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, as in why date? Why date someone if you don't plan to have a lasting relationship with? I mean surely you aren't dating just for the sake of dating right?

Dating in this day and age is pointless, 9 out of 10 times it will lead you to a dead end road. Relationships take a lot of work and a lot of time needs to be invested so why waste all that? I mean if you're dating someone you have no intention of marrying, realistically you are just dating in till your expiry date with that person. You're dating till you find reasons why you shouldn't marry them or you're dating them for all the wrong reasons. I ask myself why do people do this to themselves, like are they lonely or confused or really desperate?

Recently my friend just broke up with her boyfriend because she realized she didn't love him the way he loved her, as in she just only liked his company whereas he told her she was the one he wanted to marry later on in life. That he couldn't picture himself with anyone else. Thankfully they were only dating for 5 months so not a lot of time was invested into this pointless relationship.  My point is dating has become this sort of frozen dessert in our lives for our souls, keeping in mind when we purchase these delicate foods the date in which they expire. The only difference there's no way in knowing the expiry date on your relationship, you'll just have to play to see how things work which most of the time turns out not to be so wonderful.

My other friends sister was living with her boyfriend of 7 years when 3 months they broke up and things are pretty bad for them. There's no hope they're getting back together. They were high school sweethearts. Again time, a lot of time; 7 years is a lot. To have wasted 7 precious years of you life with someone is downright painful. 7 years down the drain? 7 years of commitment in a relationship where neither party members had intentions of marriage in mind? Wow

Why would you do that to yourself? What was the point?

To date in till the expiry date is met is not a way of life, temporary happiness will never prevail over the happiness invested and is well repaid in marriage.
(Forgive me
For the things I
Should have said
But didn’t.

Forgive me
For the things I
Said
But didn’t mean.

Forgive me
For I somehow
Always
Fell
Short of the expectations you had of me)

 I love you and miss you dearly.
I've lost motivation
in just about
every
thing
When asked the simple question who are you? How might you reply?

One might reply by stating their name and quite possibly where they're from with no thought process involved. They might answer it the way you answer whats 1+1 or your date of birth. They might even hesitant depending on who is asking the question. Another will also reply by stating their name, the only difference is that they know everything in which is associated with that name. The definite personality, memories, talent entrenched with that name. The experiences/events and places that name has gone to/through. When they say their name, they say loud and with certainty and are well aware with the identity associated with it.

Which are you?
If you were to ask me if I was going to prom around this time last year, there would be no hesitation in my response. A very quick and easy yes would make its appearance but things have changed so drastically over the course of a few months; technically a year. It's safe to say senior year didn't really turn out anything close to what I expected, lets just say there have been more shitty days than ok days lately but I'm keeping my head up. Or trying too at least. Anyways prom is in a few months, June 25 and I'm probably not going. There is a 80% I will not go but I still have friends trying to persuade and change my mind. Realistically, its just gonna be end up like my semi formal last year and all I really did was basically sit down and drink coke and take photos. I wouldn't necessarily say there was much fun going on that night. I don't dance so naturally I don't understand these things. Don't get me wrong there was entertainment (watching people completely embarrass themselves on the dance floor and checking out everyone's outfits) but I failed to feel one of those "I'm probably never gonna forget this night, it was such a blast" feeling.  Plus I'm really not looking forward to the process of preparing for prom, gaarash baathann as mother would say. I really don't see the need to spend so much money to impress a bunch of kids I barely talk to or even know.